Review Round-up

As you might have guessed from the lack of posts recently, I ended up getting that teaching job! I've been back for two weeks now and it's been exhausting, but I think it's going pretty well. I am still planning to write more about this soon but I wanted to get some reviews that I've been sitting on out of the way. All three of these books come from my Tried and True list, so I've been making progress on that. It's ground to a halt now that I'm working again but at least I got to squeeze in a few good reads while I could!

The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell (audiobook)

This was a surprisingly quick "read" and like Gladwell's other books, had a lot of interesting information. The premise here is twofold: 1) change is often quite gradual until a tipping point is reached and then there's a rapid shift, and 2) things that tend to go viral (or "create epidemics", as Gladwell called it over a decade ago, before the concept of "viral" became a thing) all tend to follow similar patterns in the way that they spread. Gladwell outlines the factors involved in something being "sticky" enough to become an epidemic. Some of the things discussed are common sense but a few things stood out for me. The research that went into the creation and success of Sesame Street, for example, was really interesting, especially since my daughter is just starting to discover Elmo and friends right now. 

Every time I listen to an audiobook, I comment on the author reading it. Gladwell reads this one, too, and for the first time, I think it may have been better if he didn't. His voice was so soft and soothing that it was hard to stay engaged sometimes. He could almost lull you to sleep. 

The Imaginary Girlfriend, John Irving

I bought this short memoir of Irving's at used book store several years ago, intrigued by the idea that a man who constantly insists that people stop looking for an author's life in his novels would have written a memoir. It turns out, he doesn't give us much to work with. If you're interested in his wrestling career, there is lots of high school and college wrestling minutiae. I would have been much more interested in his family life and writing career. There were a couple of surprises: Irving is dyslexic and actually hates the city of Vienna. The Vienna bit surprised me considering how much a part of his novels Vienna tends to be, and not usually in a negative way. It's worth the read for the sake of completeness if you are an Irving fan but you're not missing much otherwise.

And The Mountains Echoed, Khaled Hosseini (ebook)

Oh, how I loved this book! It's been over a week since I finished and I'm still thinking about it. 

If you are familiar with Hosseini's previous novels, The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, you probably already know that this, too, will break your heart. That's what Hosseini does. He pulls at your heart strings until they snap, but he does it so well. And The Mountains Echoed was much more subtle and less devastating than The Kite Runner, and not at all emotionally manipulative like I found A Thousand Splendid Suns to be. There is no gratuitous tragedy here, just the simple, beautiful heartbreak of people living their lives and making difficult choices that have lasting consequences across generations. I loved the story, I loved the characters, and I loved the way the story was told through the different viewpoints and formats. This is easily my favourite book of the year so far.

Books of 2014 - The Attention Span Returns!

Last year wasn't all about birth and babies; there were some "real" books in the mix too. It was slow going until A was born and then got better. That sounds backwards but it's true; I read a lot more with a newborn than I managed to do in the 9 months before she arrived! My attention span returned, and between nursing around the clock and naps that only happened if she was being held, I had a lot of time on my hands.

These are the novels I read in 2014, not quite in this order:

When You Reach Me, Rebecca Stead
A good, easy YA novel.

Under the Dome, Stephen King
Not great. This was my first Stephen King and it was disappointing. The tv show was even worse.

The Inheritance of Loss, Kiran Desai
I don't remember much about this at all. Oops.

Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell
I started this in the weeks before A arrived and had a hard time getting into it. I really liked the parts I read afterward. Kind of wish I'd saved it for when I could fully appreciate it.

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn
Started out really well then went downhill. Really unsatisfying ending. I am looking forward to the movie, though. I think it was perfectly cast.

The Luxe, Anna Godbersen
Turn of the century chick lit. It was ok. This is the first book in a series but I doubt that I will continue.

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, Sherman Alexie
Loved this! Funny and poignant YA novel.

The Breadwinner, Deborah Ellis
Read this one for book club. Yet another YA novel. It was interesting but I was hoping for something with more depth. This is also the first in a trilogy. I'm not sure yet if I will keep reading.

City of Bones, Cassandra Clare
It was the year of YA, apparently. I was pleasantly surprised by this one. The writing was quite good and even though it was long, it was a fairly quick read. I may continue this series.

Life After Life, Kate Atkinson
I wanted to like this one but it was just meh. The jumping around in time got confusing and it didn't feel like there was much purpose to the way the story was told. I kept expecting it to lead somewhere and it didn't.

Kockroach, Tyler Knox

Really enjoyed it. It's supposed to be a take on The Metamorphosis, which I have not read. It was entertaining and had some thought provoking themes.

The Witch Doctor's Wife, Tamar Myers
Pretty good. It reminded me a little bit of The Poisonwood Bible, which is one of my favourite books. It didn't keep me engaged all the way to the end but that may have just been the Wonder Week/sleep hell I found myself in while reading it.

The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt

I actually still have two chapters left of this one, just waiting to get it back from the library. I will review it later.

2015 is kicking off with The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry, which I am really liking so far. My only reading goals for this year are to make time to read a little bit each day and to enjoy it more.

Happy reading this year!

Books of 2014 - Pregnancy & Baby

Last year was a mixed bag when it came to reading. For the majority of the year, I read books related to pregnancy, birth, and babies. I tried to read novels too but they were a slog. It was hard to get into anything and maintain interest. In this post, I'm rounding up all of the baby related books and sharing my favourites.  

Pregnancy & Birth

I continued use The Mother of All Pregnancy Books as a reference (I discuss it in detail here). The "Complaints Department" chapter and chart of medications were the most useful. If I didn't already own that, I'd have bought the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. I borrowed that one from the library and really liked the section at the end of each month that broke down various symptoms and indicated if/when to report it to your doctor. Finally, though I am generally not a fan of Dr. Oz, I did enjoy YOU: Having a Baby. I didn't make it through the section on labour and delivery but everything up to that point was interesting. I liked that it wasn't the typical weekly or monthly guide. 

As we were gearing up for our baby showers, Baby Bargains was awesome for building our registry. That, along with the Lucie's List site helped us keep our registry pretty simple and focused on what we'd need.  It was helpful to have an idea of the different brands and what to watch out for.

In my birth story post, I mentioned that I had hoped for a med-free birth. To that end, I read Ina May's Guide to Child Birth and Husband Coached Childbirth by Bradley. If you are interested in going that route, I highly recommend Ina May's book. Initially, I was put off by the fact that the first half of the book consisted of birth stories; it felt too hippie dippy for me. By the end, though, I found it very empowering and increased my confidence a lot. The informational portion rubbed me the wrong way; it was biased, fear mongering, and not consistent with current research. The Bradley book had a lot of useful information but Bradley himself seems insufferable. 

Baby Care & Development

If I had to do it all over again, I'd spend less time focused on birth and more on what to do with a newborn baby. Many late night nursing sessions were spent googling various things I didn't know I would need to know. The books I have referred to regularly since A arrived are Baby 411 (by the same people who did Baby Bargains) and Dr. Sears' The Baby Book. My own parenting philosophy lies somewhere in between the two ends of the spectrum these books represent so I've found them to be a good combination. 

Thanks to the other moms in my birth month group on The Bump, I discovered The Wonder Weeks. I highly recommend this book and it's corresponding app. Everyone talks about the physical growth spurts but there are also cognitive ones, and those lead to predictable patterns of fussy behaviour. The book describes what baby is learning during each "leap" and how to help. I liked the suggestions for developmentally appropriate toys and games because my experience has been with older kids so I had no idea when it came to babies. The best thing about this book might be that it always reassures me that "this too shall pass." The app has a calendar that is customized to your baby's due date and describes each Wonder Week, along with some play suggestions. You could get by with just the app but it wouldn't hurt to check out the book from the library. It has a lot more detail and check lists.

At six months, we introduced solids. Since we are mainly doing baby led weaning, I read up on that as well. I definitely recommend reading this if you are interested in BLW because it provides information about choking vs. gagging, which is a common concern.

Infant Sleep

Oh, where do I begin with this one? Once the sleepy newborn stage wore off, we had nap issues galore. We could handle those because night sleep was going well. Around 4.5 months, that went to hell too. Two and a half months later with no end in sight, we were exhausted and reaching our breaking point. I read a lot of sleep books. I read a lot of blogs (Troublesome Tots is awesome). In the end, Ferber rescued us from the depths of sleep despair. Out of the many sleep resources I consulted and methods I tried, only a few were truly useful. These are my favourites:

The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep, Dr. Harvey Karp - Similar to The Happiest Baby on the Block (we watched the dvd, it's good!) but more focused on sleep. I'm a big fan of Dr. Karp and the 5S's were a big help with our fussy newborn.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Dr. Marc Weissbluth - While Weissbluth is best known for being an advocate for full exctinction sleep training (crying it out with no soothing), that's not all this book is about. There is a lot of solid, helpful information here about sleep and sleep issues. It covers newborns through adolescents and this is the only book that discusses how to handle colicky babies in any detail. The formatting isn't great and often gets a little too academic, but still worth it for the information.

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, Dr. Richard Ferber - Everyone's heard of Ferber but few have actually read the book, so there are a lot of misconceptions. Ferber recommends graduated extinction, or crying it out with soothing, but just like Weissbluth, that's not all that is discussed here. Lots of good information, though not as thorough as Weissbluth.

If you are giving me the side-eye right now for recommending Weissbluth and Ferber, consider yourself lucky that you were never desperate enough to need either of them. And if you haven't had kids yet but think this is awful, never say never! That's how we started out too.

And there you have it. In the next post, I'll list my favourite non-baby related books from last year. That will be a much shorter list!

Review Round-up: Books About the Baby Making

It's a snow day here in my neck of the woods. A perfect day for lounging on the couch, catching up on reading and blogging. I am loving it!

In keeping with the tradition that I have inadvertently started, it's TTC Friday. As promised, below are reviews of the books I've read since we started trying to make a baby. Not as mini as I'd planned (ok, not mini at all) but hopefully just as useful. Feel free to share any of your own thoughts or recommendations in the comments.

The Mother of All Pregnancy Books (Canadian Edition), Ann Douglas

This book lives up to its title. Douglas covers everything from deciding whether or not you're ready to start trying, all the way through to a birth plan. It's been helpful through the TTC process and I like that I'll still be able to use it once we are expecting.

Given the scope of the book, Douglas doesn't go into great detail in most sections but that wasn't an issue for me. As a reference, this book is perfect. When I wanted more specific details about something, I looked into other books that focused on that particular subject.

There are a few sections that I've found particularly useful over the last few months. The section that covers nutrition while TTC and during pregnancy discusses all of the required vitamins and minerals, the RDA, and what  types of foods to find them in. I especially love the charts: there's one for early pregnancy/PMS sysmptoms and their causes, various medications and their effects on early pregnancy (helpful when I had a cold in November), and several more. Another section I refer to frequently is the week-by-week guide to pregnancy. Obviously I haven't gotten very far with that, but I like knowing what's going on in my body during the 2WW.

Finally, the fact that there is a Canadian edition is great. Statistics and medical information that is actually based on Canadian numbers and the Canadian health care system was very helpful.

What to Expect Before You’re Expecting, Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel

The What to Expect books are not popular among my friends who have already had babies and my first impression of this one wasn't great. In fact, I wasn't even planning on finishing it at first. Eventually, I did pick it up again and read the whole thing. If you can get past the crappy writing style (think The Cosmo Guide to Getting Knocked Up, with a lot of puns that are not as clever as the authors think they are), there's actually some good information here. There are also sections specifically for men, which was different from the other books I'd read.

The format is very much like a magazine; it's split into chapters that are further split into shorter sections. This worked well for some sections, like the early chapters that cover some of the TTC FAQs. It seemed strange in others.

The portion of this book that stood out for me was the section on infertility and ART. It does a good job of describing the options available and what they entail. It even has a tutorial on how to correctly use a syringe for injectables. We're not at the stage where we need to worry about any of this but I do like having some basic understanding of the options.

Overall, this book wouldn't be my top recommendation for people TTC but it wasn't a complete waste of time either.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility, Toni Weschler
(Note: this cover photo is of an older edition not the current one)

When we first started out, I had no intention of charting. I will confess that I thought only the obsessed women did the whole temperature thing and I was determined not to become "one of those." Once I started reading about it, though, and learning how it works, I was onboard. Initially, it was meant to be more of a science experiment but as my cycles turned out to be irregular, it became a necessity. That's where this book came in.

TCOYF is the charting bible. It describes the Fertility Awareness Method for both pregnancy achievement and birth control. It is NOT the rhythm method, which is a common misconception. This is not about tracking dates and relying on averages. This is about learning to read and interpret the signs that your body is giving you. Frankly, this is information that all women should know, whether they plan to chart or not, planning to get pregnant or not. Sex ed doesn't cover it; instead, we get information that is incomplete at best and woefully incorrect at worst. It would be helpful if doctors were all properly informed but they are not, so it perpetuates.

Weschler doesn't just discuss fertile signs. She also covers reproductive health in general and the information she gives is good from puberty right up through menopause. I felt a lot better informed after having read this book and empowered to be more proactive about my own health. For example, I now make it a point to do a breast self exam around CD7 every cycle. Weschler explains why that time frame is ideal and provides step by step instructions.

One criticism is that I could have done without the constant digs at doctors and the testimonials about how charting is the.best.thing.ever! I got it the first couple of times. After that, it set the wrong tone. Despite this,  the information is invaluable and should be required reading for all women.

The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant, Jean Twenge

I'll admit it. I loved this book. After reading the previous three, there wasn't too much information in it that was new but Twenge's approach was refreshing. She goes a little Mythbusters on a lot of the information presented in other books about TTC, looking at the actual research (or lack of it, at times) to find out what is accurate and what is not. For instance, if you're over 35, your odds of conceiving drop drastically, right? Nope. Unless you're living in medieval France, which is where those statistics came from. And sex in the missionary position is best, right? Maybe. But despite advocating it in all the books, no one has actually studied which position is best so no one really knows. Shettles method for gender selection? Totally backwards.

I loved getting the background on all of the things I'd been reading about in the other books and Twenge's sense of humour made it entertaining. It felt like the book was written for me. I have two favourite sections of this book. The first is the chapter on healthy eating for fertility. It's a more condensed and easier to remember version of the advice that is in The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. The other is the chapter called something like "If Someone Tells Me to Relax Just One More Time...." In that chapter, Twenge looks at the research on the effects of stress and anxiety on TTC and shows that mild to moderate levels of stress are perfectly fine. It is "ruminating" and depression that can cause problems. That was comforting to me because I have a tendency toward anxiety and during the school year, stress is unavoidable. An added bonus: I actually read that chapter to my mother and haven't heard a single comment about not "trying so hard" or "don't think about it" since. [FYI: if you are someone who likes to advise people TTC to relax, please stop. It is not helpful. It is irritating and can actually be hurtful.]

A caveat: Twenge has a research background, as do I. When she talks about studies and data analysis, she does mention the limitations that some of the studies have. In those cases, you cannot read too much into her interpretation, especially if you are not familiar with data analysis. And you have to remember that a lot of her analysis IS just her interpretation of someone else's data; there is always room for error. I think the book sometimes gets a bad rap (on The Bump, in particular) because someone has misread or misunderstood the results and then spreads information that the book does not actually contain. The nice thing is that all of her sources are listed at the back of the book so that you can look at the original work. Like with anything, really, you can't take it all at face value.