Schrodinger's Uterus

Once you start the TTC journey (that's Trying to Conceive, for the uninitiated), things that once seemed TMI start to become routine. Over six months into it, not much is TMI anymore. Those of you who still have your boundaries in tact, consider yourselves warned. What follows may be TMI. If you don't want to know what latest form of mindfuckery my lady parts are up to, come back next week when we'll be discussing Reading Bingo.

 

So. My body. Weird things are happening.

Last week, I wrote about the fact that over the last six months, I've had four cycles. After stopping the birth control pill at the end of July, my body went through a phase where it couldn't quite get its act together. That first post-pill cycle lasted 61 days. Irritating but aside from the length and some spotting halfway through, it seemed mostly normal. The cycle that followed was not pleasant. It was shorter, at 44 days, but the time leading up to ovulation was a mess. I had symptoms of estrogen dominance: extremely emotional, fybrocystic and very sore breasts, more fertile cervical fluid than would make sense, headaches, you name it, I was feeling it. I did eventually ovulate and things were fine after that. Cycle #3 was normal and almost back to normal length (37 days). The last cycle was even closer to normal, at 35 days, which surprised me given how sick I was, how much medication I'd taken, and that I'd started antibiotics just before ovulation. All seemed right with the world again.

Until now.

Today is CD15 of cycle #5. Yesterday, I had an OPK (ovulation prediction kit) that was thisclose to being positive. A full week earlier than expected, but whatever. Then I started bleeding. Yesterday, it was just spotting. Today, it's more than that but not enough to be considered flow. What?! I do know that ovulatory spotting or bleeding is not unusual but it sure as hell is unusual for me!

I've had a few suspicions since I began charting and temping about possible issues but not wanting to borrow trouble, I kept talking myself out of being concerned. It could just be that my hormones are still off. I've been suspicious of low progesterone on a couple of those cycles. If I am actually ovulating right now, this could be further evidence of that.

The other possibility, the one that I'm starting to think is more likely, is the presence of cysts. I've had some weird pains leading up to ovulation during every post-pill cycle except the first. This is not the dull-ache that everyone talks about. This is a combination of pinching, pulling, and cramping that feels like my insides are angry or like something is trying to claw its way out from the inside. It's always on the left. Sometimes, there's pinching on the right too but the majority is concentrated on the left each time. I've been feeling that these last few days, too, but since the bleeding started, that has stopped.

What really freaks me out, whether it's a rational worry or not, is that both the estrogen dominance and mid-cycle spotting are supposed to be more common in women entering menopause.

Right now, I don't know what to do with all of this information. It could very well be nothing other than my body still readjusting. I really, really want it to be nothing. But I have no way of knowing for sure until I see a doctor and if there actually is a problem, I'm not sure that I'm ready to hear it.